your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
