Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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