Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize