drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
