butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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