Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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