My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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