we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
