ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
please come you make the beer taste better
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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