Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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