Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
