The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
