if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
