I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
