that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
