Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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