Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
