We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
