Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
