you have to choose: penises or morals?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
