I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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