Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
