Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you win again, gameday.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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