On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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