whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
