Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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