Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
