shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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