There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
