Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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