These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
