The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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