He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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