hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
