So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
