Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your cock deserves a montage
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
