we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I need moral support for this bender
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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