I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
