But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
