carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
