i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
