So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
