oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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