the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
