honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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