i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
