I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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