Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
