There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
