she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
